is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
