I wish I could punch you in the face.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
