Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
