I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
