Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
