sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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