I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
