I think i peed on brittanys purse
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
