Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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