He disabled his match.com account in front of me
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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