i just had sex bonerless
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
