Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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