Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Princesses don't give blow jobs
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
