I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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