i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
