Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
