just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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