Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
