I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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