it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
