drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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