Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
