the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
