I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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