I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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