lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
