Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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