it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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