this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
