she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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