I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
