dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
