Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
