She's JV to your varsity
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
