my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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