The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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