We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
she smelled like a LAN party
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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