I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
