i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize