Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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