Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
