So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
