the condom got lost in my hair
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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