they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize