Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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