Im at strip club and am horny
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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