i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
