Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
