i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Randomize
