Is it normal to miss your booty call?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize