So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
