oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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