I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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