There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
