i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
