Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
