1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
