I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
