they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
