We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
