So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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