Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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