I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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