quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
