He is such a slut. More and more my type.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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