The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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