this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
