Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
