Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
